Almost anyone that reads our website (or is alive breathing on planet Earth)
has an opinion about just how much "Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace"
sucks. Only a handful of hardcore "SW" fans (or Industrial Light & Magic
employees fearing for their job security) will openly speak positively about
one of the worst movies ever made (my opinion). As someone that doesn't care
or like anyone or anything to do with any "Star Wars" movie I sit back and
amuse myself waiting for the day when everyone in the world will agree with
me about how George Lucas' outer-space soap opera rings hollow, has no heart
and doesn't have any characters worth caring about or investing one's
emotions into. The same day that happens, of course, will be the same day I
win $300 million in the Power State Lottery and get sexual pleasure from
Denise Richards AND Barbara Feldon (!) simultaneously while watching on TV
the Buffalo Bills win the Super Bowl. In layman's terms, I'm almost alone in
my dislike of "Star Wars". But the latest theatrical release of the saga,
"Episode II: Attack of the Clones", has opened my eyes about two things I
thought I'd never experience in my life: a giddy sense of affection toward a
"Star Wars" movie, and a small sense of appreciation for what "The Phantom
Menace" attempted (and failed miserably at) three years ago.
Let me explain. "The Phantom Menace" is so bogged-down setting-up the
political intrigue and back-stabbing events that explode in latter chapters
of the "Star Wars" saga (and with a particularly deafening intensity in
"Attack of the Clones") that it's own narrative feels haphazard, broken and
in desperate need of a road map. Just trying to keep track of the many new
characters (Liam Neeson's Qui-Gon, Kenny Baker's Darth Maul, Natalie
Portman's Queen Padme Amidala, Ian McDiarmid's Senator Palpatine) and new
faces playing old characters from the original trilogy (Ewan McGregor's
younger Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jake Lloyd's Anakin Skywalker, Frank Oz's Yoda, etc.)
is confusing. Throw in a misguided attempt to mix comedy and Buster
Keaton-inspired goofiness via the presence of Ahmed Best's Jar Jar Binks (a
digital character more annoying that an army of real-life Pauly Shores put
together) and a few climactic battles that seem to have been won by
undeserving participants that just lucked out (Ch.44's control ship
destruction by an annoying Jake Lloyd being the primary culprit), and
"Episode I" is truly a missed opportunity to give Hollywood's most successful
movie series an opening installment worthy of the "Star Wars" moniker.
It was sad back in '99 to see writer/director George Lucas so out of touch
with the filmmaking craft he once was so good at. To have Jar Jar Binks
front-and-center for almost the entire length of the film while Darth Maul
(one heck of an uber-cool bad guy) is shown for about 1/12th the same amount
of time is just cinematic homicide in the second degree. BUT SEEING
"EPISODE II" REVEALS AN UNDERSTANDING OF THE FLAWS IN "EPISODE I" THAT LUCAS
AND HIS PEOPLE HAVEN'T REPEATED THREE YEARS DOWN THE LINE, which enhances
the value of "The Phantom Menace" as a factory of fuck-ups in which the
filmmakers assembled all their defective prototypes before polishing their
craft for good in "Attack of the Clones". Jar Jar, for example, has been
reduced to the bit-player status he should have always had in "Episode I",
and the villain is given a little more time and isn't being dispatched as
quickly from the scene as Darth Maul was. And all that Force genetic crap
that "Episode I" hinted at about Anakin Skywalker? Gone for good in "Episode
II" my friends, which is a blessing for even someone who doesn't want insipid
plot holes to take away from the enjoyment of watching a bazillion things
explode on-screen at once.
If you haven't done so already in anticipation of seeing "Attack of the
Clones" in movie theaters this weekend, do yourself a favor and either watch
again, buy (cheaper than $20 if possible) or rent "The Phantom Menace" on
DVD. It gets a generous grade from us because of its sharp picture and great
sound being complemented by one of the better special features supplementary
discs we've ever come across (over six hour's worth including the commentary
track in Disc One), not because it's a good movie. Quite the opposite,
"Episode I" is so terrible and with so few bright spots (special effects
shots, Liam Neeson and Pernilla August's no-nonsense performances, John
Williams' memorable 'Duel of the Fates' soundtrack and Kenny Baker's
acrobatic dance of death as Darth Maul against Ewan McGregor's Obi-Wan
Kenobi) that it's only function in the final "Star Wars" pecking order will
be to start things off so badly and to bore its audience so much that the
vastly-superior "Attack of the Clones" will feel even better than it actually
is. Maybe that has been George Lucas' brilliant masterpiece plan all along,
but I doubt it because he would have mentioned it on the supplementary disc
documentary 'The Beginning'. Mpph, I wish I could see the 599 hours of
footage not used to create that behind-the-scenes documentary!
The Disc:
Disc One:
With a $115 million budget at the service of creating seamless digital
characters interacting with one another while engaging in everyday activity
or mass-scale warfare, nothing less than perfection was expected from the
premiere digital entertainment facility in the world. All I can say is 'son
of a bitch', "The Phantom Menace" looks and sounds phenomenal! There are
absolutely no compression artifacts, edge enhancements, film damage of
anything less than a clean, sharp and flawless picture. Even better than the
picture clarity is the Dolby EX soundtrack, which is guilty of aural
manslaughter in the first degree ladies and gentlemen. You must convict! J
We're talking speaker-to-speaker subtle panning with clarity and manageable
loudness in the sound effects departments (dig them cool light saber 'woopsh'
effects!). We're talking musical heaven with one of John William's best
scores in recent memory (the 90's were not as kind to Williams as the 70's
and 80's). And, unfortunately, we're talking about the always-audible and
understandable banal dialogue being uttered by almost everyone in "The
Phantom Menace's" cast. I still cringe whenever Jake Lloyd or Ahmed Best's
voices stream out of my sound system's speakers, but everything's all right
in the world when Ewan McGregor or Liam Neeson's cool accents take over the
speaking duties. English subtitles are also available.
Family-friendly entertainment that is worthy of being demonstrated to
unconvinced consumers not sure whether they want to upgrade to DVD yet? You
bet, but an even bigger selling point for fans of the movie will be the
inordinate amount of special features jam-packed into two DVD's worth of
digital space. Sharing space with the movie's remarkable audio and video
specs is a Feature-Length Commentary Track in which George Lucas'
comments are mixed with those of producer Rick McCallum and crew members Ben
Burtt (co-editor), Rob Coleman, John Knoll, Dennis Muren and Scott Squires
(ILM special effects people). It's a scene-specific commentary track, but
these men manage to sneak in a few personal anecdotes and even make fun of
their own blunders (like Ch.22's mention that Sebulba is missing for a
split-second from the cockpit of his vehicle during the Podrace sequence).
Lucas gets the lion's share of the talking time, and from his comments it's
clear the man is infatuated with special effects and digital filmmaking more
than with his actors (by a 10 to 1 ratio at least). It's hard to tell most
of the other speakers apart since they're all talking ILM jargon and sound
exactly the same (young-to-middle aged Caucasian men), but there are no dead
spots or moments of awkward silence in this track until the final credits
start rolling. For the most part what they say and talk about is interesting
and informative, even if the delivery and serious tone of the speakers comes
across as dry and educational. Worth a listen.
Disc Two:
A kitchen sink must have been miniaturized and hidden in each double keep
case of "The Phantom Menace", because LucasFilm Ltd. has thrown almost
everything else imaginable into the DVD's second disc. The menu/option
screens are washed in elegance and intuitive design selections that make
navigation through the truckload of special features and motion picture as
eye-pleasing an experience as watching the flick itself. The highlight of
these features is 'The Beginning', an hour-long documentary which
offers a behind-the-scenes view at almost every aspect of pre-production,
on-location shooting, editing, post-production and anything you care to
imagine. The casting segment, in particular, is interesting in that you can
see many actors auditioning for roles in the movie that could have been
better than the actors that were finally chosen (AKA Jake fucking Lloyd!).
No fluffy self-serving statements or movie clips padding the length of this
interesting look at ILM's infra-structure when everyone's in battle mood for
preparing their biggest project to date. Many segments in 'The Beginning'
were part of a series of Web Documentaries that were commissioned by
LucasArts to hype the movie's production back in '98 and '99, and all 12 of
these five-minute featurettes are included.
'Duel of the Fates' Music Video is the same music video that MTV and
many TV stations aired during the height of the "Episode I" craze back in '99
(LucasArts also included it in the PSOne videogame version of "The Phantom
Menace"), and watching John Williams conducting the orchestra is worth its
inclusion. Next is a quasi-documentary in which Seven Deleted Scenes,
most of them abandoned work-in-progress scenes that Lucas' special effects
wizards completed specifically for this DVD, can be appreciated either by
themselves or in context within the main movie (like 'The Air Taxi Sequence'
that can be seen in Ch.27). Most of these scenes were wisely deleted, but it
speaks volumes about Lucas' love affair with digital technology that he'd
spend so many resources polishing stuff that wasn't good-enough for him to
include in the finished product in the first place. Talking heads from guest
directors like Phillip Kaufman ("The Right Stuff") and Francis Ford Coppola
("Apocalypse Now") appear as well pointing out how painful and hard it is to
get rid of scenes conceived so lovingly by its creators. Multi-Angle
Animatics shows how two special-effects intensive scenes from "Episode I"
(Submarine and Podrace Lap 1) were conceived from storyboard to animatic to
finished composite product.
Production Featurettes gives us five brief but informative featurettes
covering specific storyline, design, costumes, visual effects and fight
scenes information that is also covered in the other documentaries.
Production Photo Gallery gives us over 70 pictures of cast & crew with
written captions about what/where/when they were taken, and leads nicely into
a Posters and Print Campaign section that shows us teaser and launch
American posters along with international outdoor ads. Trailers and TV
Spots allows people to relive the deafening hype that the teaser/launch
trailers and TV spots had when they were used to promote the theatrical
release of "The Phantom Menace" three years ago. Finally, "Episode I's" DVD
release don't waste an opportunity for some corporate synergy cross-promoting
its other LucasArts properties. 'Star Wars: Starfighter - The Making of a
Game' is a four minute featurette promoting the PS2/XBox name of the same
game (which I gave as a gift to my friend Brian Gray, who rated it an 8 out
of 10 in his PSXNATION review), and Exclusive DVD-ROM Content allows
owners of the DVD to access either starwars.com (the franchise's official
website) of even more behind-the-scenes stuff. And even though it isn't
listed anywhere I'm pretty sure a Miniaturized Kitchen Sink is in here
somewhere, got damn it! J
bottom line:
The recently-released "Attack of the Clones" exposes the many plot weaknesses
and story-telling flaws of "The Phantom Menace", which is by far the weakest
of all "Star Wars" movies released to date. As a torch-bearer of the DVD
format though, few projects have shared with its many fans the
behind-the-scenes production trials and tribulations with the openness with
which Lucas and Co. have packed the second disc of "Episode I". Throw in a
perfect picture transfer and killer sound presentation (duh!) in the first
disc, and the already-agonizing wait for "Episode II" to be released on DVD
becomes even more unbearable.
By - J.M. Vargas
