Completely disregarding Jason Vorhees’ apparent descent into hell at the end of "Jason Goes To Hell - The Final Friday," 2002’s "Jason X" opens in the present with our favorite masked serial killer chained and under guard at a place called Crystal Lake Research Facility. Before you can utter to yourself
‘this is bullshit’ Jason (yet again played by stuntman Kane Hodder) breaks out from his chains, kills everyone around (including movie director David Cronenberg in a bloody cameo) and cryogenically freezes alongside a female scientist named Rowan (Lexa Doig) in an isolated chamber. 400 years later (!) Jason and Rowan are awakened by a group of genius students that
just happen to be visiting Earth on an intergalactic field trip. Thawed from their cryogenic state, Jason and Rowan proceed to do what their respective roles would have demanded from them had they still been around in a 21st century slasher horror flick: mindlessly murdering anyone (or anything) that stands in his way (Jason), and shrieking to anyone that would listen that Jason is an unstoppable serial killer that must be stopped.
Too bad Professor Lowe (Jonathan Potts) chooses to ignore Rowan’s warnings and attempts to keep Jason alive and in one piece in order to collect a generous bounty from a private collector. This only complicates things for the other students and crew members of the space ship still left alive after Jason has gone back in business, including somewhat charismatic Sgt. Brodski (Peter Mensah), hunk-with-a-bit-of-charisma Tsunaron (Chuck Campbell), wannabe-android (and Trinitry impersonator) Kay-Em 14 (Lisa Ryder), bitchy Janessa (Melyssa Ade) and a few others not worth mentioning. After apparently killing and dismembering Jason the survivors hope to escape, but the masked one is accidentally revived by nanotechnology (!) that turns him into... drumroll please... Uber-Jason!. Now a meaner, sleeker and more dangerous predator than before, the serial killer makes his last move on his prey. Too bad Jason wasn’t counting on Tsunaron and Kay-Em 14 (well, what’s left of her at this point of the... pardon the pun... story) activating a virtual reality simulator that momentarily distracts him into thinking he’s back at Camp Crystal Lake (as Uber-Jason) murdering promiscuous teens and being his usual murderous self.
As you can probably tell by the two previous paragraphs the Jason movies (particularly New Line Cinema’s last two flicks) have turned into the cinematic equivalent of a sideshow carnival. Special effects sequences and running gags that are more concerned with creating mild chuckles than actual horror (like the ‘He’s screwed’ death) pack the movie’s 93 min. running time with more tedium than fun. A ninth sequel to an already weak and worn-out premise like this would sink any other movie into insignificance, but the loyal base of Jason Vorhees worshippers are still turning out in numbers sufficiently large to make this movie (as well as its DVD) profitable enough to justify the upcoming "Freddy Vs. Jason" movie. Even with the brain turned off and all the goodwill I could muster (‘It’s just a dumb little slasher flick with a higher-than-average budget for special effects’ I had to tell to myself over and over) I still found "Jason X" to be just shy of an insult to the intelligence... of a single-cell organism living on the tip of a larva’s discarded carcass!
Worth renting with any other "Friday the 13th" movie for an evening of laughs with friends, but that’s about it for "Jason X's" true worth as a so-called comedy-horror flick I’m afraid. Any movie that has one of its disposable characters uttering the phrease 'This sucks on so many levels' is just asking for trouble, especially when that is the best pull-quote to accurately describes "Jasox X" to fans and "Friday the 13th" bashers alike.
The Disc:
Proving conclusively that sometimes a DVD is better than the movie coded within the disc, "Jason X’s" Widescreen Anamorphic Video Transfer, English Dolby Digital 5.1 & 2.0 Surround and 5.1 DTS Soundtracks and English Subtitles live up to the high standards one has come to expect from New Line’s Platinum Series line-up. The picture is sharp, colorful and allows the CGI eye-candy and over-the-top deaths to come across as more cartoony than realistic; too bad the cinematography often borders on been needlessly dark, and that the odd instance of shimmering takes place. Menu/option screens look cool and are well designed though. The soundtracks are all quality stuff within their respective categories, with the Dolby 5.1 mix displaying a superb and atmospheric quality that surrounds the viewer with a non-stop parade of explosions, metal objects thrust into other metal objects (and human bodies as well), idiotic dialogue and one of the better music scores in ages for the series (good riddance Fred Mollin!). The DTS and plain Surround tracks aren't half-bad either!
As far as technical standards go the move to New Line from Paramount’s lot has benefited Jason’s presentation tremendously, but "Jason X" also boasts the largest amount of bonus material to ever appear on a DVD from the series. Director Jim Isaac, screenwriter Todd Farmer and producer Noel Cunningham’s Commentary Track doesn’t fly as high as the one in "Jason Goes to Hell - The Final Friday’s" DVD, but it follows the same relaxed and self-effacing pattern set by its predecessor. It’s a fun listen that won’t turn "Jason X" haters into fans of the flick, but will at least convince them that the trio of filmmakers had the best of intentions when making the movie. Also returning from "The Final Friday" DVD is the ‘Jump To A Death’ Feature that allows for the uninterrupted enjoyment of the movie’s couple of dozen deaths without a plot to distract one from the mayhem. There are also Theatrical Trailers for "Blade II," "Final Destination," "Jason X" (of course!) and the "Nightmare on Elm Street" movies (naturally!).
There are also two exclusive documentaries, ‘By Any Means Necessary: The Making of Jason X’ and ‘The Many Lives of Jason Vorhees’, that put both the "Friday the 13th" series and the newest movie into perspective. The former chronicles how many of the special effects sequences and the whole project came together (and recycles quite a bit of information from the commentary track), and the latter recaps the origins and unexpected popularity of the first "Friday the 13th" movie and the many sequels that followed. Too bad no movie clips from the Paramount movies are used on either documentary, which means an endless rehash of clips from New Line’s two movies. Give me a break!
bottom line:
A morbid freak show more than a mainstream horror/slasher flick, "Jason X" boasts the best picture, sound and DVD bells-and-whistles compared to all of Jason’s previous cinematic escapades put together. Too bad that campiness has truly taken over by sequel number nine (tenth in the series), and the once-menacing sight of Jason pursuing his helpless victims has given way to hi-tech parodies of "The Matrix" (the whole Kay-Em 14 thing) and "Spawn" (Jason’s new Uber-Jason outfit) that further bury the series into its cinematic grave. "Freddy Vs. Jason" cannot come out soon enough!
By - J.M.'The Horrormeister'Vargas
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