[EDITOR’S NOTE: this review summarizes the plots of both "Hulk" movies into a couple of paragraphs. For an in-depth and somewhat comical take (i.e. rambling and ranting) on each of these two flicks be sure to read our J.M. Vargas’ own reviews of "The Incredible Hulk Returns" and "The Trial of the Incredible Hulk" in their own separate DVD reviews. It’s clear Vargas cares an awful lot about this TV show, and the palpable anger these two movies cause in him seem to bring out the monster writer that dwells within him. He, he, he]. If you read this website’s DVD review section you’ll read two angry, raw and bitter reviews from yours truly for two made-for-Network-TV movies that were released by a Hong Kong outlet as all-region DVD’s. 1988’s "The Return of the Incredible Hulk" and 1989’s "The Trial of the Incredible Hulk" continued the saga that started on "The Incredible Hulk" TV series that ran on CBS from 1978 to 1982. Based (but not entirely faithful) to the Marvel comic book series of the same name and developed for television by Kenneth Johnson ("V: The Original Miniseries," "The Bionic Woman," the "Alien Nation" TV series, etc.) the show dealt with how mild-mannered scientist David Bruce Banner (Bill Bixby) struggled to keep within him a destructive green monster (Lou Ferrigno covered in green make-up and wearing a wig) that would appear whenever he got angry or violent. Though he never came close to curing his illness (except for a two-part episode, ‘The First,’ in which he almost cured himself with an antidote) Banner and his creature always ended up saving the day for others. Uncharacteristically depressing and dramatic for a Network TV show based on a comic book superhero, "The Incredible Hulk" also alienated many Hulk fans (like my best friend Rich) that wanted the show to be as flashy and fantastic as its comic book roots.

‘The Incredible Hulk Returns’ (May 23, 1988):

Enter Bixby, Ferrigno and "Incredible Hulk" veteran Nicholas Corea, who in 1988 bring back to the TV screen the misadventures of David Banner. Now a reputable scientist at California’s Joshua Lambert Institute, Banner is working on a Gamma radiation machine that will cure his illness (which he has kept under control for two years) and ‘getting it on’ with fellow scientist Dr. Margaret Shaw (Lee Purcell, whose bad 80’s hair is the real monster of this movie!). But, just as Banner is about to rid himself of the Hulk, a dorky nerd named Donald Blake (Steve Levitt) breaks into Banner’s lab and shows him a hammer that can summon from thin air a Norse king known as Thor (Eric Allan Kramer) who isn’t exactly schooled on the fine arts of etiquette IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN (duh!). Anyway, before you can think to yourself ‘This movie is losing me faster than "Daddy Day Care’s" ad campaign’ Thor messes up Dr. Banner’s lab and David himself, which in turn gives you-know-who the green light (no pun intended, I swear! :-P) to come out and go one-on-one with Thor.

You’d think Dr. Banner would just curse away Blake and his angry Norse sidekick for needlessly preventing him from getting cured. I know I would if I had managed to keep the Hulk caged within me for years! But writer/director Corea is more interested in silly (i.e. retarded) comic book hijinks than establishing anything even remotely likable or real about these characters (including Dr. Banner!). Mr. Corea even throws another unbelievable sub-plot in which a group of bad guys (led by Tim Thomerson and Charles Napier at their stereotypical thug best) kidnaps Banner’s girlfriend in order to get from him the formula to his research and sell it on the black market. As if a Norse God that can be summoned out of thin air by a hammer wasn’t already a camel’s back-busting premise on top of the hard-to-swallow gimmick of David Banner turning into the Hulk! You know this movie’s priorities are totally screwed-up when potentially interesting characters like Dr. Shaw or National Register reporter Jack McGee (Jack Colvin, completely wasted reprising the same role he played on the CBS TV series) are overlooked in favor of goofy shit like Thor and Blake going to a bar to have a drink and get into some silly mischief (Ch.11).

It all leads to a final showdown with generic bad guys in which Thor and the Hulk put their differences aside (you’d think these two wouldn’t have any issues with each other given their brutish background) and team-up to save the day and Dr. Margaret Shaw. Unlike the neat film techniques used by the directors of "The Incredible Hulk" to make the green monster’s actions seem bigger than life (slow motion, 14mm film lens, tilted-up camera angles, etc.), Nicholas Corea directs the action sequences of "The Incredible Hulk Returns" with all the passion of a retired senior citizen shooting home videos of his/her grandchildren. ‘Point-and-shoot’ seems to have been the man’s prerogative, a trait that Bill Bixby would sadly emulate when he directed the two subsequent "Hulk" TV projects. Only at the end of the movie, when Banner and his girlfriend (who may or may not know what he becomes) exchange a touching farewell (Ch.19) before Joseph Harnell’s sad piano song from the TV series takes the viewer toward the final credits, does "The Incredible Hulk Returns" achieve a modicum of the soul and emotion that eluded it for the first 91 minutes of its running time. One of the worst made-for-TV movies of all time (and yes, I did see "The Amy Fisher Story" and know what I’m talking about; kiss off slappy!), IMHO.

‘The Trial of the Incredible Hulk’ (1989):

With the first "Hulk" made-for-TV movie garnering huge ratings it was inevitable that another one would follow. 1989’s "The Trial of the Incredible Hulk" brought back Bill Bixby (now a director and executive producer as well as the star) and Lou Ferrigno in a story that further pushed the once-realistic and dramatic TV series into the realms of comic book pulp. After arriving at an unnamed city Banner gets in trouble when a couple of thugs working for Wilson Fisk, AKA The Kingpin ("The Lord of the Rings’" John-Rhys Davis) get too frisky with a woman on a subway car. After you-know-who comes out and sets these goons in their place the police comes running in and arrest Banner (after his Hulk alter ego disappears) for been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Wanting nothing more than to stay anonymous and undected, Banner rejects the offer from his public defense attorney Matt Murdock (Rex Smith) to testify against the woman’s attackers in order to get to The Kingpin. Did I mention that Murdock has been blind since he was a young child and, in his spare time, fights crime in the big city as a vigilante superhero under the pseudonym Daredevil?

Anyway, before you can ask yourself ‘Why is this cable-access flick about Daredevil and The Kingpin named "The Trial of The Incredible Hulk"?’ Banner has a nightmare while sleeping in his prison cell. In this dream sequence Banner’s worst nightmare about what would happen if he were forced to testify in a legal proceeding (and Stan Lee were juror #8!) come alive (Ch.11). This in turns lead to a delayed-reaction transformation (Ch.12) unlike any I ever saw on the TV show, and in which the Hulk breaks out of prison off-camera (Ferrigno must have been at a Botcon convention or something that day!). With both the police department and Kingpin’s men out to get him Banner tries to leave town, but Daredevil intercepts him and shares with David his true identity. Now the two mutants... I mean, superheroes (sorry about that "X-Men" Freudian slip!) must work together to break into Frisk’s impenetrable tower, rescue the woman that Banner tried to defend (and which Kingpin’s men have kidnapped) and disband the meeting of the heads of organized crime taking place. Ohh, and did I mention that David Banner’s thick beard miraculously disappears whenever he transforms into the Hulk? And that it miraculously reappears when the Hulk (whose mug is totally shaved) turns back into Dr. Banner? Does the beard go inside the Hulk’s chin? Or do the hairs fall off and then grow back in seconds when Banner comes to?

These horrendous continuity gaps notwithstanding, "The Trial of the Incredible Hulk" (whose titles I’ve already established is one whale of a fraud) is just as inept and poor as its predecessor in the acting and excitement departments. He might be cool as Gimli or Sallah in the movies (not to mention his ground-breaking work on "Sliders"! :-P), but here John Rhys-Davies hams so much as Kingpin that he comes across as a silly buffoon. Rex Smith’s portrayal of Daredevil/Matt Murdock is blandness personified, rivaling even the non-entity that was that white dude that played Flash Gordon in the 1980 movie (his name escapes me and the IMDB is down as I write this!). Not only are Banner’s Hulk-outs lame and unexciting, but they happen at the wrong time and aren’t even necessary to advance the plot! In a movie starring the Hulk and Daredevil I would expect either of these guys to at least kick some serious Wilson Fisk butt in the final act. Not only is the Hulk not even present during the break-in into Fisk’s tower (Banner just walks through the front door and tags along while Daredevil does all the heroic deeds!), but Daredevil doesn’t even lay a finger on Fisk! He just waves his arm in disgust as the villain escapes into a low-resolution matte painting using now-cheesy 80’s special effects technology.

At least Bill Bixby doesn’t make the mistake of playing Dr. Banner with the same righteous persona that he used for the "Incredible Hulk Returns" movie and the TV series. Dialing the "Father Knows Best" routine down a notch and clearly aware that he’s directing and starring in a comic book fantasy, Bixby is the only one in "The Trial of the Incredible Hulk" that walks away from the flick with his head held high (no small feat given the unbelievable ‘disappearing/reappearing beard’ continuity fiasco). The real loser of the piece is Ferrigno, IMHO. A movie that carries his character’s name and uses his mug to sell itself relegates the still-pumped bodybuilding superstar into a handful of scenes (Chapters 5, 11 and 17) that do the Hulk justice. May I strongly suggest that, if you can stomach (and actually enjoy) these two made-for-TV flicks, you seek out Fox Home Video’s "The Death of the Incredible Hulk" and Universal’s "The Incredible Hulk: Pilot Episode"? No point in going halfway if you’re intent on building the ultimate DVD collection of "Incredible Hulk" TV series material.

bottom line:

These two made-for-TV "Incredible Hulk" movies represent the lowest point of a TV series that made a virtue out of the humanity of its lead character (Bill Bixby’s Dr. David Banner) and the tragedy of his overpowering alter ego (Lou Ferrigno’s green monster). Anchor Bay wisely chooses to just let the suckiness and "MST3K"-worthy appeal of the flicks work out their putrid magic on the viewer (ED: but how do you really feel about these movies Vargas?). The outstanding package and booklet design, along with a decent amount of DVD extras and the convenience of having both movies in one package, are good-enough to make this a reasonable purchase for "Incredible Hulk" completists like myself. As much as I despise these flicks no fan of Marvel’s green giant can afford not to have "The Incredible Hulk Returns" and "The Trial of the Incredible Hulk" as part of their DVD collection (after they get Universal’s "Incredible Hulk Pilot" DVD of course!).

By - J.M. Vargas