These days one can’t tell which Barry Sonnenfeld will show-up to direct a big-budget Hollywood movie. It could be the offbeat Barry Sonnenfeld with a nose for directing hilarious films like the "Addams Family" series, "Men In Black" and "Get Shorty." Or it could be the Barry Sonnenfeld that commanded such unfunny and abysmal train wrecks like "Wild Wild West" and this year’s "MIB II" summer flick. For "Big Trouble," one of three 2001 movies whose release schedule was moved around due to their plots ringing too closely with the September 11th tragedy (the other two being David Mamet’s "Heist" and Andrew Davis’ "Collateral Damage"), the latter Sonnenfeld showed-up. Along with a large cast of good actors, Sonnenfeld and screenwriters Robert Ramsey and Matthew Stone sink to a new low with one of the least funny and stupid so-called comedies you’re likely to see this or any other year.
Based on a Dave Barry novel, "Big Trouble" starts with a look at how Eliot Arnold ("The Santa Clause’s" Tim Allen) fell from Pulitzer Prize-winning glory as a columnist on the Miami Herald to a divorced self-employed advertisement man with an annoyed teenage son named Matt (Ben Foster) that is embarrassed to drive his father’s brand-new Geo car. From here Eliot narrates an improbable tale of how a fried chip-loving drifter from Boston named Puggy ("Chasing Amy’s" Jason Lee) stumbles into a small Russian-run bar that serves as a front for arm dealers. Two loser criminals, Snake ("Saving Private Ryan’s" Tom Sizemore) and Eddie (Johnny Knoxville of "Jackass" fame) assault the place but are promptly beaten by Puggy and the Russian folks. After Puggy’s done helping out at the bar he stumbles into the vast Herk state. Here asshole husband Arthur ("Sidewalks of New York’s" Stanley Tucci) helps himself to the feet of Hispanic maid Nina (Sofia Vergara) while wife Anna ("Lethal Weapon 3’s" Rene Russo) worships Martha Stewart while laid-back teenage daughter Jenny (Zooey Deschanel) smirks at everything.
All hell breaks loose when Jenny’s classmate Matt (Eliot’s son) breaks into the state to squirt her with a super soaker as part of a school prank. This happens to coincide with the presence on the Herk state of two hitman from New York, Henry (Dennis Farina) and Leonard (Jack Kehler), that are being paid to eliminate Arthur because of money he’s been stealing from his employer. Their missed sniper shot destroys the Herk’s big screen TV set, and brings to the Herk state a duo of cops; one’s level-headed and tough (Janeane Garofalo’s Monica Romero), the other’s a little bit odd and easily-infatuated with women (Patrick Warburton’s Walter Kramitz). Eliot Arnold also shows-up to collect his teenage son, and a bond forms between he and Anna Herk that soon leads to an extra-marital affair. Drifter Puggy, who watches all the commotion from the tree he chose to spend the night, is also having an affair of his own with Nina the maid. And even though there’s no hanky-panky involved, a relationship is blossoming between the Herk daughter and the Arnold son as their squirting pranks with a mall rent-a-cop (played by Conan O’Brien’s former sidekick Andy Richter).
In the meantime Arthur, fully aware that an attempt was made on his life, goes to the Russian bar where drifter Puggy worked to try to purchase a nuclear bomb as bargaining leverage with the people that have taken a contract on his life. Just then the bumbling criminals Snake and Eddie show up. These two (a) kidnap Puggy and Arthur along with the nuclear weapon, (b) take them to the Herk state, (c) tie-up and hold hostage everyone that shows-up (including the Arnolds and the Miami cops from the previous night’s incident) and high-tail it to the airport in order to flee to the Bahamas with young Jenny Herk as hostage. After easily passing through airport security and paying their way out of immigration without having to show ID, two FBI agents (played wonderfully against type by Omar Epps and Dwight ‘Heavy D’ Myers) use their authority to call on two Air Force planes to shoot down the plane carrying the two criminals, regular passengers, the teenage hostage and the now-active nuclear bomb.
Can Eliot Arnold save the day, impress the woman he likes, get the respect of son Matt and get a cowboy hat with a big W from the President as an acknowledgment for his contribution? Even more important, will those watching "Big Trouble" be able to get their jaws off the floor after witnessing the stupefying disaster this wannabe comedic crime caper is? At every turn Sonnenfeld’s need to deal with a large cast of actors that keep stepping into each other’s scenes undercuts potentially-funny situations (like the constantly-reappearing toad that sprays hallucinogens) or a strong on-screen presence. Tim Allen is the lead of the film, but he’s in it for about a third of its running time and totally phones in his performance. The other actors stay professional and straight-faced throughout the ordeal, but they’re largely wasted (particularly Jason Lee. Only Dennis Farina’s Henry (sarcastic without being condescending) and Zooey Deschanel’s Jenny (delivering every line in the same Steven Wright-type of monotone voice) make any meaningful impression after the end credits.
Regardless of the September 11th tragedies (which clouds the last third of the film like a bad storm), "Big Trouble’s" ultimate sin is its inability to deliver any big laughs or even moderate chuckles. Only the hired killers from New York are given a running gag (Florida Gator fans calling into a sports radio show) funny-enough for a great payoff at the very end of this short 85 min. movie. The rest are dumbed-down puns, contrived-to-a-fault situations and the type of slapstick farce that is better played tongue-in-cheek serious (like in Steven Soderbegh’s remake of "Ocean’s 11"). It’s hard to believe this attempt at a comedy crime caper was directed by the same man that explored similar territory with "Get Shorty" and hit paydirt, but that’s Hollywood for you. Not even fans of Allen (ourselves included) will find "Big Trouble" the least bit funny, exciting or interesting. The DVD extras, on the other hand... well, read for yourselves.
The Disc:
The months this film’s print spent sitting in Touchstone Pictures’ vaults between Fall of 2001 and Winter of 2002 haven’t affected one bit the quality Widescreen Anamorphic (1:85:1) Video Transfer and workmanlike English Dolby Digital 5.1 Soundtrack "Big Trouble" has been blessed with. Skin tones and a well-filtered color palette give the characters an air of eccentricity that fits the stereotypical Miami eccentricity to a tee, and James Newton Howard’s playful musical scores also contribute to the surreal atmosphere of the proceedings. The soundtrack doesn’t push the surround or speaker panning capabilities of Dolby 5.1 technology anywhere near its breaking point but, like the fault-free print, it’s terrific without calling attention to itself. Spanish and French Subtitles are also included, along with English Closed Captions for the Hearing Impaired.
Besides a couple of lame Sneak Peeks (for fellow box office bombs "Out Cold" and "Corky Romano") only boasts a Feature-Length Audio Commentary by Director Barry Sonnenfeld and something called ’The Five Minute Movie’. The latter is an edited-to-its-bare-plot-points 7:50 min. summary designed for people on the go without time to watch "Big Trouble" (cute idea, but why would anyone rent/buy this flick and not watch it?), while the latter is more interesting than the movie itself. Sonnenfeld defends his flick against all odds, and isn’t shy of commenting about how the September 11th tragedy affected the film’s release, box office chances and audience reception. Not a bad couple of extras given the flick’s close-to-zero reception in theaters, but they aren’t enough to save "Big Trouble" from itself.
bottom line:
Kudos to Sonnenfeld for stepping into the firing line and not only taking full responsibility for this debacle, but also defending it in a commentary track. September 11th tragedy notwithstanding, "Big Trouble" commits the worst sin a so-called comedy could have: it’s not funny. Picture and sound are OK though, so credit DVD technology from keeping "Big Trouble" a half-a-star ahead of such one-star dribble like "Graveyard Shift" or "The Incredible Hulk Returns."
By - J.M. Vargas
1/2
