Miami's Dade County, one of the poorest and most crime-ridden regions of the city. Chances that a mall will be built in the area (and the jobs that would come along with them) are slim, and the local DJ (Raylo) is letting it rip. The local citizenry goes about its business as usual. Alicia Strada (hip-hop artist Trina) does charity work at the Belafonte Community Center. Mama Africa (Roxzane T. Mims) takes care of a child that belongs to Alicia's best friend Nike (Neferteri Shepherd). The neighborhood's colorful (as well as drunk and unemployed) duo of Redbean and Cornbread (Dexter Angry and Henry Clay) engage in their daily routine of playing checkers while catcalling every attractive woman that crosses their way. And so on and so forth.
It's also business as usual for thuggish crime bosses Black Zeus, AKA Cal (Tony Reddick), and Babaluchi (Victor Lopez). On his way to enforce an unwritten 'NO PLAY' rule at the local park's basketball court Black Zeus almost runs over Alicia with his big black SUV (!). Alicia, who doesn't hesitate to let Zeus know exactly how she feels, is humiliated and angry that she's one of the few black women in her neighborhood that's not attached to a man. So she organizes a boycott against all the men in the neighborhood that doesn't sit will with some of Alicia's own black sisters. It's a bit preachy and over-the-top (Ch.8), but it effectively sets the lighthearted tone that director Melvin James is trying to inject into what would otherwise be routine sitcom fate. 'Pussy probation' Alicia calls her cause, and she recruits enough neighborhood women to take back from Zeus the park that he and his gang have usurped for themselves. Even local Miami P.D. cops like officer Stacey (Tsion Tekle) join in the protest, and soon Alicia and her friends are front-page news and local media heroes. Even DJ Raylo praises the women for their efforts.
The park clean-up job becomes a sit-in, which in turn becomes a live-in protest that lasts for days and drives the men (and some of their women) a little nutty. At one point the women sleeping alongside Alicia in the park (!) all have a collective nightmare in which their vaginas talk to them and beg for men so they can quench their sexual thirst (Ch.19). Though we also watch the men suffer from what they deem 'pussy withdrawal' its clear that "A Miami Tail" sides with the female POV at all times. Things end peacefully when one group gives into the other's demands (guess who?), and a concert takes place in which real-life rappers like Mr. Cheeks (playing himself) show up to spread the love. The end.
For all its swagger, R rated profanity and attitude "A Miami Tail" is as conservative and violence-free an African American movie fantasy as the series of "Friday" movies or "Barbershop." You won't confuse its mix of light-hearted man-woman problems and social commentary with the raw brutality and realism of flicks like "Boyz in the Hood," "Fresh," "Do the Right Thing," "Baby Boy" or "South Central" (even though it's just as foul-mouthed as any of them). The hoodlums in this movie aren't the least bit scary or convincing, coming across as the Africa American equivalent of the harmless gangs in "West Side Story" (minus the singing and dancing of course). It might be covering the same terrain as Dreamworks' "Deliver Us From Eve," but the Dade County locations and comic relief characters (particularly the duo of Redbean and Cornbread) add a unique Florida flavor to "A Miami Tail's" proceedings.
While I was never able to shake the perception that this must have been a music video concept expanded into motion picture length (call me biased against predictable and preachy morality tales) there is enough goodness in this urban fairy tale to barely recommend it. "A Miami Tail" is worth seeing if you can borrow it from a friend that has already rented it at Blockbuster. Just be prepared to roll your eyes every once in a while at the sight of lead actress Trina trying to emote anything other than a pissed-off stare with any degree of effectiveness (see pictures on the right to know exactly what I mean!).
The Disc:
The shoestring budget of this movie isn't immediately apparent until some questionable editing choices (mostly cutaways to bland reactions from other cast members) become apparent in choppy transitions or clumsy digital fades. Regardless, "A Miami Tail's" Widescreen (1:85:1) Video Transfer sports no visible artifacts or noticeable film imperfections except for an odd grain spec on the print once every few moons. Shot mostly during daytime hours with plenty of filter exposure, the picture is over-saturated (in a good way) with so many colorful outfits and beautiful black people strutting their stuff around that it's almost surreal. Unfortunately the movie's Trailer (the only bonus feature besides English & Spanish Subtitles) is in full screen.
The English Dolby Digital Soundtrack comes loaded with so many music tracks that the closing credits at the end of "A Miami Tail" are almost entirely composed of song acknowledgments. Though not stepping into the crystal-clear dialogue and acceptable (though infrequent) audio effects it's kind-of annoying for character dialogue to compete head-to-head against song lyrics that are meant to convey the emotional state of the moment. Damn you "Dawson's Creek," "Felicity," "Waiting to Exhale" and "Alias"! :-P
bottom line:
Colorful performances from well-known hip-hop artists (including Trina in her motion picture debut) highlight this urban fairy tale about black female empowerment wiping out the evils of Miami's inner city gang warfare. A public park in Dade County's poor neighborhood becomes the battleground between women that won't please their men (even though some of them want to), and the males that can't live without them. "A Miami Tail" looks surprisingly good for a low-budget film; the well-chosen soundtrack (rap and hip-hop) fits the colorful cinematography well. The movie will live or die based on its audience's willingness to accept it as escapism from all-too-real problems (drive-by shootings, poverty, single motherhood, etc.) that director Melvin James skips over for the sake of having a good time. A decent rental.
By - J.M. Vargas
1/2
